You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
