I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
