That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
