guys are not supposed to queef...right?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize