I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize