I'm drive I can fine osifer
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
