Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
