Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
