Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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