You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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