He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
