explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
