I must be too annoying 4 u.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We are all done wearing pants today
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
