my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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