he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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