You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
