It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
