No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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