Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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