Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize