I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
