Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize