I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
