I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
