my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
