Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
