the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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