ADVERTISEMENT

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!

  Fav 5 1041 1293

  share tweet
  

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to

  Fav 1 1057 1157

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (647): View more from Ontario

  Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.

  Fav 5 6311 901

  share tweet
  

• (904): View more from Florida

  Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea

  Fav 18 6148 1616

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.

  Fav 18 5657 1426

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??

  Fav 9 2533 1368

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (606): View more from Kentucky

  only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.

  Fav 29 2136 2077

  share tweet
  

• (626): View more from California

  Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?

  Fav 22 4831 1464

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.

  Fav 3 1407 767

  share tweet
  

• (406): View more from Montana

  He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.

  Fav 3 1068 765

  share tweet
  

• (937): View more from Ohio

  whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had

  Fav 1 799 554

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (530): View more from California

  So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?

  Fav 2 308 567

  share tweet
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.

  Fav 1 57 8

  share tweet
  

• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am

  Fav 0 12 20

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into

  Fav 0 62 5

  share tweet
  

Randomize