5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
