Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
