After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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