Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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