I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
