I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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