69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize