the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Green mimosas i think yes
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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