if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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