so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
