I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
