You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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