I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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