garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
