College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
