So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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