The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
