Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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