Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm at about main and main street
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
