Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
