I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
