I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize