I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
