dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
