My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
