Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
