If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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