They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
