Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize