you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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