Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
