i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
