Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
