3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
