He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
whose parrot is this?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize