Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
