what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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