Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
