she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
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