I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
